


Palace

by wondersbull



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Sanvers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:34:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wondersbull/pseuds/wondersbull
Summary: Three months have passed and Alex and Maggie see each other at the bar. Cannon to 3x09.





	Palace

Alex knew it was bound to happen, that’s why she had stayed clear of that bar, but the last couple of weeks have been too crazy and drinking alone in her apartment like every other night just wasn’t gonna cut it tonight. Kara had almost died and one of their best friends was a genetically modified weapon of destruction, and her dad was still missing and she had almost died in the hands of Nazis from other Earths. So yeah, tonight, the store bought scotch in the dead silence of her living room, felt like a punishment instead of a relief.

She had seen her from the moment she walked in so she had stared at the contents of her drink until she felt a touch of her shoulder. She had always been too nice and even broken up, Maggie could never not say hi.

Maggie had also been trying to avoid the bar but her coworkers at the precinct were celebrating her promotion and insisted they went to the bar she had always talked about. Maggie didn’t feel like celebrating, even if she had always wanted this: it felt empty. Everything did since three months ago. 

So she went and it took all the strength she had to not turn around when she saw her sitting alone at the counter as she entered the bar. Her coworkers didn’t notice and they all filled a booth. She told them she was going to get them drinks and she walked towards her feeling like her legs were made of jelly. But she needed to do this, who would she be if she didn’t.

Alex was debating hard if she should leave but the feeling in her gut and the familiarity of it all brought great comfort to her, even despite the heart sinking feeling when she heard her last name being called in that soothing but firm voice she had gotten so used to listening for a year of her life. She knew this all too well.

She looked amazing and Alex wanted to punch herself in the face but she rallied because it was her. It was brief because it felt detached, and because Maggie was there with other people and Alex wasn’t a part of her life anymore. So she paid and was ready to go when Maggie returned and sat on the stool next to her. “What? You’re leaving? Here I was thinking you were finally going to ask for that rematch that you promised, you know, after I epically beat you the last time.”

She had a smirk, the one she wore so well and as Alex knew it was clearly a bad idea, she also relished in the feeling of being free again, even if it was just for one night. She didn’t have a ring on her finger anymore but she had been carrying heavy chains since that gloomy night. Alex knew what Maggie meant; she had not lied when she said it in that cloudy day below a time travelling ship on another earth. But it had been three months and nothing made sense, and Kara almost died, and Nazis crashed weddings, and now there was this girl without a mother and nothing made sense anymore. So she stayed even if it was a mistake, because how could something so good be a mistake.

Maggie forgot about her coworkers and one beer turned into a pitcher, that later turned into scotch and one last tequila shot before she was closing the door to her apartment with Alex fumbling with her clothes and desperately finding the way to a bed in this unknown home.

They both knew it was bound to happen.

Everything was still now, as raindrops danced patterns on the closed windows. They didn’t feel drunk anymore; it was probably the result of drinking hard every night for the last three months because even after all they drunk at the bar, this hadn’t been an act due to alcohol.

Alex exhaled as she thought that this situation was becoming familiar to her. She used to listen to the stories of the one night stands of her friends as she grew up, with nothing else but incomprehension and now here she was. It would almost be funny had this been a one night stand; nonetheless, she knew this would never be that. But for that exact same reason she knew she needed to leave, so she stood up but didn’t make it far.

“Don’t go.” Maggie said and she hated how desperate her voice sounded. “You don’t have to go. I don’t mind.”

“Maggie –” Alex tried. “I don’t want to make this harder than it already is.”

“It’s not. I know what this is, I know what this means. We’re not expecting anything. I know nothing has changed.” Maggie said and it killed her but she would never be blindsided. Alex remained quiet. “But it’s late, and I know it’s not my place anymore, but I know you’re safe here.”

Alex tried with all her might to resist the sensation, the magnetism she had with Maggie, but the tether just couldn’t be cut over night. Sometimes Alex thought it would never be. Tonight –despite the stabbing air in the room at that moment –had been easy and it reminded Alex of how Maggie had been her best friend before she was anything else.

She gave up knowing that tomorrow there wouldn’t be enough alcohol to fix her decision and got in the covers again. Maggie smiled feeling content; she could have her for a little more time.

“So what were you celebrating tonight?” Alex asked remembering seeing one toast in the corner of her eye.

“Me.” Maggie replied looking at the ceiling of her room. “I got promoted to Sergeant.” Maggie told Alex like it wasn’t a big deal, because it didn’t feel like it.

“Maggie! That’s amazing!” Alex genuinely smiled. “It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

“Yeah.” Maggie said vaguely. Alex felt the disconnection but it wasn’t her place to ask about it anymore.

“Well, congratulations, you truly deserve it.”

“Thanks.” Maggie looked at her softly.

“It’s a nice place” Alex said looking around. “It’s bigger than your last apartment.”

“The perks of the new job.” She joked. “I’m still getting used to it though.”

Alex nodded as she saw several unpacked boxes around the room. “Any cool cases?”

“Alex, we don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“The small talk. We already did it at the bar. The only reason we got past it was the booze.” Maggie told her honestly.

“It just feels like we can’t say anything else, then.” Alex said not daring to look at Maggie.

“You can tell me anything, Alex.” Maggie searched for brown eyes and found a nervous gaze set on the sheets. So she asked her the one thing she knew was troubling Alex. “How’s Kara holding up?”

Maggie had seen the destruction site and seen the footage: Kara being rushed in black vans, bloody and unconscious. She had worried about Alex so she didn’t listen to her head and had sent her a text. One that hadn’t received a reply; she hadn’t expected one.

“Better. She’s all healed up now, but it was so hard. It’s like nothing we’ve ever seen. It’s just feels so –” Alex stopped.

“Personal?”

“Yeah. It’s Sam, she was Sam. Our friend.”

Maggie nodded not knowing what to say, for a year this had been her life, the crazy that always surrounded Kara and everyone in her life. Now she just heard about it on the news and on police reports. She could feel that Alex was hurting and she knew that Alex would always worry about Kara, but this wasn’t her life anymore.  
“You’ll get her, you always do.”

“Yeah, well.” Alex sighed, still not looking at Maggie. “But enough about it, you shouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.” Alex told her and knew she had to tell her. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text.”

“No, I get it, it was crazy. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Maggie answered trying to act like she hadn’t waited for a reply for days.

“Thank you.” Alex dared to look at Maggie and she knew she couldn’t lie. “I wanted to reply, but I just didn’t know how to.”

“I can show you how to use your phone, if that’s the problem.” She cracked a joked. It was easier this way. Alex shook her head but smiled. “It doesn’t have to feel like this, Alex. You can talk to me.”

“But I can’t Maggie, it won’t take us anywhere.”

Maggie nodded, “Maybe. But we’re here, so.”

It amazed Alex that Maggie was persistent about this, she was expecting her to be mad at her; she had ended it after all. Yet here she was, with the same old kindness that made her fall in love with her. Alex could keep pretending but everything about that night was telling her to let go, at least for a little while, so she did.

And for a while they talked like they used to do before everything changed.

 

“I can’t believe you went to another earth, how cool is that.”

“What? How do you know about that?” Alex asked her shocked.

“Winn and I sometimes talk.” Maggie smiled.

“Ugh that guy is the worst secret keeper. I don’t know how he has kept Kara and James’ secret identity hidden.”

Maggie chuckled. “So, how was it?”

“Umm… Bizarre.” Alex told her. “It’s like everything’s the same but nothing is. At least in the first earth we went.”

“Wait. You went to more than one earth?” Maggie asked shocked.

“Yeah, we were abducted by Nazis and taken to their earth.”

“And that’s the reason why you and I never took a vacation.” Maggie laughed not being too surprised by any of this; Alex’s life had always been chaotic. She sometimes didn’t miss that.

“I slept with someone.” Alex suddenly blurted.

“Ok…” Maggie said not knowing how to react really. It slightly amused her that Alex decided she needed to tell her. It was at least easier to pretend it was more amusing than it was heartbreaking. But it was her life, they were broken up. Alex deserved to have new experiences besides her. Everything happened so fast with them that Alex couldn’t really find herself beyond Maggie, so it was expected that she’d look for something else, as painful as that was to admit.

“I don’t know why I just told you that.” Alex confessed after the unexpected outburst. Maggie always made her inhibitions drop drastically, and she felt guilty, even if she knew she shouldn’t.

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” Maggie replied stoically.

Alex shook her head embarrassed, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Look, it’s fine. We’re not together anymore, it would be stupid of me to think that our life ended after we broke up.” Maggie told her trying with all her might to be reasonable. The truth was that for three months, her life did feel like it had ended. But she would never tell this to Alex, it wouldn’t be fair.

“So, I’m assuming this was on the other earth? I hope not the Nazi one.”

Alex exhaled feeling queasy. Her big mouth was always getting her in trouble. “No, it was on the other one. She’s a friend of Kara.”

“Ah.” Maggie said, thinking how she hadn’t really been that to Kara ever. She also thought about the stories Kara had mentioned over dinner sometimes, about her superhero friends from the other earth. “Wait, so she’s a superhero?”

“I guess so. She fights like one, but she doesn’t have powers.” Alex replied.

They weren’t too different then; Maggie could never compete with someone with powers. That realization didn’t make Maggie feel better though. Alex’s life had always been so out of the ordinary that Maggie often seemed as an odd thing. She used to think that Alex liked that, that she was a kind of normalcy and stability in a rather erratic and uncertain life. However, now she wasn’t so sure. Maggie hadn’t been able to give her the one thing Alex wanted: the happy ending she had always dreamed of. Maybe in that sense, Maggie had never been normalcy and stability. She now wondered if this other earth girl could maybe give that to her. Just the thought of it made Maggie want to throw up.

"It seems like you had fun." Maggie told her, trying to step away of her traumatic thought process. She would try to act unbothered as if her life depended on it. She had had previous awkward encounters with exes and she wasn't a stranger to jealousy. Nevertheless, if truth be told, Alex would never be just another ex and none of them hurt like she did.

"Hmm, it didn't really feel like a getaway, more like work. Or war. Sometimes I don't know the difference between those two." Alex downplayed drastically what that trip had been. She had stared at the barrel of the gun, saw her life being ended by a group of people whose main purpose was to eliminate the different, felt she had let Kara die because she wasn't fast enough, strong enough. She had let herself be distracted from her main goal in life for the last 15 years because nothing in her life made sense anymore. It hadn't for three months.

That trip had been a nightmare, and sure, she found things about herself and for a second she let herself go and had new and different experiences. But had she needed them? Maybe she had. She didn't feel as broken as she did that November night; but it also felt like the reason she felt better was because she had tried the hardest to pretend that the biggest missing piece of herself didn't matter anymore. That she could move on and find someone else. A part of Alex knew that someday maybe she would. But another part also knew that at least for now it didn't seem realistic. The truth was that Alex didn't know who she was supposed to be now. She figured out who she was because of Maggie and everything since then had been about her. She had decided to spend the rest of her life with her and the only thing she had wanted more than her, Maggie couldn't give to her. So now that one of the biggest parts of her identity was gone, who was she supposed to be? 

She wasn’t trying to make Maggie jealous, it really did blurt out and she would never do anything to hurt her. It hadn’t ended like that. Maggie would forever be someone sacred to Alex and if truth be told, she was terrified that she would never get over her. But now here they were and Alex didn’t know what to say or do to make everything have meaning again.

Maggie nodded, always understanding what the job implied. But what she couldn’t understand was how much she was itching to know more about that woman. She knew it was petty and she would regret it, but she had to know, even when it wouldn’t change anything between them. “So are you seeing her again?”

Alex looked over at her cautiously, why were they doing this? Why was she there, lying naked in a strange apartment with the woman who she had thought would get to fall asleep beside her for the rest of her life, but was now asking about her one night stand.

She had thought about it, she had wondered what it would be like to date someone else as she watched Sara Lance walk away to go travel in time. It was clear for a second but then she got back home and everything felt the same. Nothing was though, so was she seeing her again? No.

“Maggie, she was a one night stand. It was an open bar and it was a wedding and I kept thinking about our wedding so I drank too much scotch and then-” Alex rushed until she was stopped.

“That’s ok; you don’t have to tell me about it.” Maggie interrupted her, profoundly regretting asking Alex the question. “You don’t owe me any explanation.”

“I’m sorry.” Alex told her.

Confusion filled Maggie’s eyes. “What are you sorry for?”

Alex took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

Maggie didn’t know either.

“What about you? Have you –” The same curiosity that Maggie felt, Alex did as well. If they were gonna fall down the rabbit hole, Alex wanted to be as prepared as she could get.

“What? Slept with someone else?” Maggie asked unbelieving. “No.”

Relief filled Alex and she exhaled out loud, but it didn’t go unnoticed by the other woman. Maggie had bounced back from relationships fairly quickly in her life; she truly did believe that rebounds helped heal a broken heart. It was the first time, however, that Maggie hadn’t thought about that. November ended, December passed and now three months later, Maggie had not once thought about moving on. How could she, everything in her life was still plagued by Alex’s essence. She buried herself in the cases that filled her desk and she focused solely on cracking the mysteries that haunted National City. This she could do, this she could solve. This wasn’t so frustratingly unfair.

“Oh.” Alex said simply.

“You expected a yes?” Maggie looked at her surprised. “Maybe you won’t agree with me on this, but one night stands don’t tend to give me what I want anymore.”

Alex nodded taking the blow. “It wasn't anything like that, Maggie. It's not what I want. I want a life, I want a –” 

She stopped and everything felt very real again.

“You want a kid.” Maggie finished quietly for her.

There was a deafening silence. It felt like three months ago.

Alex sighed feeling the same way she had felt for weeks. “This whole thing,” she took a pause, wanting to be vague. “It made me miss you.” Alex said. “You know, more than I already do.”

Maggie looked at her now, her lips quivering just a tiny bit. She just looked at her, not daring to say she missed her too, every second of every day. It was the only thing that she felt with the greatest certainty, how much she yearned for her, but it wouldn’t help anyone. This was done.

Alex nodded understanding, “This was a mistake.”

“Yeah, it was.” Maggie cleared her throat, failing at making her voice sound steady. Alex’s eyes watered as she stared at Maggie, she hated how broken she looked. She shouldn’t have stayed, she shouldn’t have gone to the bar, now Maggie hated her.

But Maggie could never hate her. It was turning harder not to cry, so Maggie lifted her head up from the pillow, attempting to regain some control. “And tomorrow I'm gonna want to kill myself because I know the moment you get up from this bed and walk out that door it will be over again and I know I'll regret everything.”

“So what do we do now?”

“I don't know, Alex. Nothing has changed.”

Alex knew it would be smartest to leave despite Maggie previously telling her to stay. But what was done was done, and she was right, tomorrow everything would be the same and she would go back to her empty apartment and continue living numb.

“You're right. So how about until morning comes we pretend it has.”

Maggie knew how catastrophic this would be but it was Alex. There wasn't anything she could do. She smiled at her and her heart felt lighter with the knowledge that they could still pretend for a couple of hours. 

“I love you, Alex.”

Alex knew because she felt it too. “I know. I love you too.” She leaned in and kissed her softly; Alex was sure she would always love her.

So until the sun rises, it's just them, no baggage, no history, no future. Life would carry on, they would figure out how to carry on without each other, even if they felt incomplete for the rest of their lives. Maggie didn’t tell her that the promotion meant moving to Metropolis, because it didn’t matter anymore. Alex didn’t tell her that she had already made decisions about a child that needed someone. Maybe distance and new purposes would bring them closure. Maybe it would give them what they both needed. Only time would tell, and at that moment they felt that after the morning came, they would have infinite time to figure it out. And for what that night lasted, they had borrowed time.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's a bit of a downer, but I truly do believe they will be endgame if Floriana returns to Supergirl. So until that happens, they need to figure some things out. I think this could be a way of them finding what they need and then finding each other again. I do not approve of Alex adopting Ruby, so here's to her helping her but not being her mother. Inspired by the amazing Sam Smith's "Palace".


End file.
